I want to tell you something I don't say enough on this podcast: I'm a work in progress too.
I've been sending patients to Dr. Julie Miller's clinic for about a year. And every single time one of them came back transformed, they'd ask me: "Dr. Hoefer, when are you going to come in?" And for a long time I just said, "I don't know." Which, honestly, is no kind of answer.
So the day before Thanksgiving 2020, I made an appointment. And I started a journey with Dr. Miller's daughter, Kelley, that has taken me down 20 pounds and, more importantly, helped me understand why I was eating the way I was eating in the first place.
Kelley Miller is a certified holistic nutritionist and life coach. She is someone who walks the walk. And her story is one I had to share with all of you.
She Was 200 Pounds and Couldn't See It
Kelley grew up struggling with her weight. At 13 she was shopping in a size 15. Her cousins called her "Ripples." She heard comments from family, from her ex-fiance, from his friends. And every single time, she brushed it off.
Not because she was strong. Because she was afraid.
"I ignored it because I didn't want to face myself," she told me. "I was so afraid to face myself and who I truly am as a person."
That's such an honest thing to say. And I think so many of us can relate to it, even if our version of it doesn't involve a number on the scale. We ignore things. We stay busy. We help other people. (Sound familiar?) Anything but turning the lens back on ourselves and asking: what is actually going on in here?
Skinny Isn't the Same as Healed
Here's the part of Kelley's story that I think is the most important, and the most underheard.
She did lose the weight eventually. She worked with a personal trainer, cleaned up her diet, listened to her mom and sister. The pounds came off. She got certified as a personal trainer, started working with clients. She was in her element.
And then she kept going, until she was 99 pounds and dangerously close to an eating disorder.
"I got to a really unhealthy skinny," she said. "I was doing these pre-workout pills that were so dangerous."
She was living in Chicago. She thought she had finally found herself. She hadn't. She was still, in her words, a lost soul. Just a skinny one.
That hit me hard. Because we live in a culture that celebrates the "after" photo. We celebrate the weight loss without asking: did you heal what caused the weight gain in the first place?
Kelley is living proof that if you don't do the inner work, the outer work will only get you so far.
The Phone Call That Changed Everything
Kelley spent years after Chicago trying to figure out who she was supposed to be. She sold cars for almost a decade. She kept coming back to this idea of becoming a holistic nutritionist and life coach. She had these quotes she believed in: "What you eat in private, you will wear in public." And, "Don't just become inspired, become an inspiration." She'd had those words for ten years, but couldn't fully preach them yet because she didn't fully believe them yet.
Then her dad passed away in 2018.
Six months before he died, he apologized to her for years of verbal hurt she hadn't even fully admitted had wounded her. They built a close relationship in his final months. And when he was gone, something cracked open in her.
"I got to heal," she said. "That was the one thing that was missing inside of me. And as I was able to heal that, I was able to move forward with who I really am supposed to be."
About a year later, she was driving in her car, emotional, crying the night before, praying for guidance, asking God to show her whether she was on the right path. And at three in the morning her time, an uncle she barely spoke to woke up to voices that told him to call her.
He called and said: "The voices told me you need to rise up and be a better woman than you are now. You're going to make a difference in this world. You're going to change people's lives."
I'm getting chills just typing that.
That day, Kelley said, changed her life forever.
The Analogy That Will Stay With Me
Kelley has a way of explaining the emotional work she does with clients that I think is so beautiful and so true.
She says: imagine the real you is deep down inside, and she's drowning. She's trying to get air. She wants to come up to the surface. But you won't let her. You keep pushing her back down, because you're afraid of who she is, afraid she'll be judged, afraid of what it means to really let her out.
"She's going to continue to drown," Kelley said, "until you release what's down there. And once you release what's stuck, she's going to come up for air. And when you have that moment, you're going to know: that's the you that you've always wanted to be but were afraid to be."
How good is that? I think about the patients I see every day who are carrying something they can't name. They come in for neck pain or headaches or low back problems, and sometimes what's really going on is that their whole nervous system is under stress from things they've never let themselves look at. Alignment isn't just for your spine. Kelley is proof of that.
It's Not a Diet. It's a Lifestyle.
I want to share something I admitted on the podcast because I think it's important to be real with you.
I didn't think of myself as having a food addiction. I'm a chiropractor. I know what I'm supposed to eat. I tell my patients all day long how to take care of themselves.
And yet when I got strict about the nutrition protocol in the early weeks, I started to realize that I'd been reaching for easy, satisfying food not because I was hungry but because it helped me manage stress. It helped me decompress. It helped me not feel whatever I wasn't ready to feel.
"Holy cow," I said to Kelley on the podcast. "There is such a psychology to this."
She didn't blink. She knew. Because she's lived it and she sees it in her clients every single day.
She also reminded me: we don't call them cheat days. We call them rewards. We call them moments to enjoy. Because the second you call it a cheat, you've made this a diet. And it's not a diet. It's a lifestyle. And in a lifestyle, there is room to enjoy pizza and there is also room to notice when the pizza doesn't feel good anymore and decide for yourself that it's not worth it right now.
That choice coming from inside you, not from shame, not from a food plan you're following out of obligation. That is the whole point.
What Kelley Actually Does
Kelley works with clients through her practice at the Natural Product Center for Wellness. She offers nutrition coaching, life coaching, and health coaching, all wrapped into a holistic program that addresses what you eat and why you eat it.
She works with clients in person and virtually, so if you're not local, she can still work with you.
You can find her on Instagram at @hlc_kelley (h-l-c underscore k-e-l-l-e-y) or at the Natural Product Center for Wellness website. Her personal website is on its way.
If you've ever said "I've tried therapy and it didn't work," I'd encourage you to give Kelley a call. Because what she does isn't traditional therapy. It's about getting in touch with who you're afraid to be and breaking down why. That is work that can change your whole life, not just your waistline.
The Takeaway
You can lose weight without being well. You can be skinny and still be a lost soul.
True health is emotional, physical, and mental. It's being able to look at yourself in the mirror and say: I love you. I think you're a beautiful person inside and out. And meaning it.
Kelley got there. I'm working on it. And if you're somewhere in the middle of your own journey wondering why you keep gaining and losing and gaining again, maybe the question isn't what to eat.
Maybe the question is: what's still drowning down there that needs to come up for air?
Don't just become inspired. Become an inspiration.
Listen to the full conversation with Kelley Miller on the Well Connected Podcast: Live Your Life in Alignment. Available wherever you get your podcasts.
Ready to start your own journey? Reach out to Kelley at the Natural Product Center for Wellness or find her on Instagram @hlc_kelley.
