Be Inspiring With Kelley Miller

 

Whether we mean it or not, some things will happen in your life that will lead you to be an inspiring person in the eyes of others. Here to share her personal journey of finding and discovering herself is Liz Hoefer’s health coach, Kelley Miller. Kelley is a certified personal trainer, life, health, and nutrition coach. Having experienced what it’s like to be 200 pounds and under an unhealthy lifestyle, she talks about the transformational journey that she went through and the emotional healing that came after. In this episode, learn how you can become an inspiration and what it truly means to find that what matters most is what’s on the inside and not on the outside. Listen to Kelley’s incredible personal journey that led to a career of helping people live the life of their dreams.

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Be Inspiring With Kelley Miller

A Conversation With My Health Coach

I’m excited about my guest. Kelley Miller is an awesome inspiration to me because she has helped me grow personally in a lot of the things that I’m doing in my life. The name of her company is called Holistic Lifestyle Coaching with Kelley. She’s known for some cool quotes. One of them is, “What you eat in private, you will wear it in public.” Secondarily, she likes to say, “Don’t just become inspired, become an inspiration.” Kelley, welcome to the show. How are you doing?

I’m good. How are you?

I’m awesome. I’m excited to talk to you. I want all of my readers to understand the journey that I’ve been on with you because it’s been a transformative one since November of 2020. Personally, I wanted to share what it is that you do, how you helped me, and how you helped countless others. If people out there think that it can’t be done or they don’t know how to get started or they feel at a loss, maybe you can give them some little nuggets on how to get started with investing in themselves on a personal level. I’ve known you for a while. Your mom, Dr. Julie Miller, and I are close friends and colleagues. We share a lot of patients. I’ve been sending all of my patients to your mom’s clinic, and they’ve been working with her and you. I see their transformation. They come back, and they say, “Dr. Hoefer, why aren’t you there?”

At some point, I got sick of answering the question, “I don’t know,” because there’s no excuse. The day before Thanksgiving 2020, I made an appointment to come see you, guys. I started a journey. At this point, I’m down 20 pounds. It isn’t about weight loss. It’s about a healthy lifestyle. I want to talk about that issue with you. I also want to get your story. From my heart to you, I want everybody to know that this is a thing that I’ve been personally doing. The people that I invite onto my show are people that I know, people that are inspiring to me, people that have been benefiting from Blair Chiropractic. I want to talk to Ms. Kelley about her journey and what it is that she does to inspire and be inspiring like her quotes. Kelley, give me a back history on where you started with this and what’s going on.

First of all, I want to congratulate you on losing all that weight. It’s awesome because what I want to do is help people, and it is not just about what is on the outside. It’s about what’s on the inside. Emotionally, physically, mentally. I first got started this many years ago because my mom’s been in practice for many years. I was working with my mom as an office manager. I was going to school for Nutrition, but things happened. I was in a long relationship for seven years and got engaged. In that relationship, I thought I was home with myself. I thought that I was able to be who I wanted to be and figured out what I wanted to do with my life. In reality, I wasn’t.

I was 200 pounds, and I never physically saw it in the mirror. I never thought of anything of it. When I’d look at myself in the mirror, it was like, “No big deal.” I ignored what I looked like. My family would make comments. My ex-fiancé would make comments to me. His friends would say rude things, but I would brush it off my shoulders because I would act as a strong person but in reality, I wasn’t strong. I was sad inside.

Don’t just become inspired; become an inspiration. Click To Tweet

Were you denying the fact that you had gained weight and you still putting on a brave face?

I’ve always struggled with weight since I was in junior high. I’ll never forget, when I was thirteen years old my mom took me shopping for clothes. I was going in size fifteen pants. When you’re thirteen, and you’re doing that, it is a breaking point, but it didn’t bother me. My weight has always been an issue since I was young. My cousins would call me ripples. I’ve gotten made fun of, and I’ve been hurt in many ways. That’s why I say it’s not just a weight thing. It’s more of an emotional and mental healing process. As I was getting older, and I got into my relationship when I was young. I was eighteen years old when I met my ex-fiancé. I never got to soul search for myself to work on myself and figure out what it is that I want. I kept getting bigger, and then finally I got to this big point where I’m 200 pounds.

How tall are you?

I’m 4’11”. Being almost 200 pounds on a 4’11” body was big. The thing is I never noticed it because I ignored it. I ignored it because I didn’t want to face myself. I was afraid to face myself. I say that now because of the journey that I’ve been on, and a lot of us get afraid to face ourselves in many different ways. For the longest time, I was afraid to face myself and who I am true as a person. I was afraid to be who I was like. I was going to get judged, or whatever the case was. One day, I looked in the mirror, I was looking at pictures of myself, woke up, and started going on a health journey. I started working out with a personal trainer, started eating healthy.

I started listening to my mom on what she was telling me to do. My sister as well is a nutritionist. They were like, “Kelley, you’ve got to eat this way. You’ve got to do that.” I started to go on that journey. I started to work out and eat healthily. The weight did start to come down. It took a while. It took me about 1.5 to almost 2 years until I got skinny. I was feeling good at myself, and that is when I decided I wanted to go to nutrition school, and I was working with my mom. I was feeling good. I’m like, “I’ve got this. I found myself. This is great. I’m going to go to school. I’m going to become a personal trainer.”

I got certified as a personal trainer. I started training people. Everything was great. I got skinny, but I got too unhealthy skinny. It became almost like an eating disorder. I was doing these pre-workout pills that were dangerous. I got down to all about 99 pounds. I was very skinny. At that time, I was in my moment in my prime. I left my ex-fiancé and went on this crazy adventure life. I still was thinking that I had found myself, but I didn’t find myself.

 

What do you think was the reason that you were able to shed the weight and got out obsessive with it, and then realized you still had the issue? Was it an emotional trauma? Was it family system issues? What was the deal?

It was not necessarily emotional trauma. It was me never being confident with myself. I was never insecure. I never was able to figure out who I am as a person. It wasn’t like I had trauma as a kid. I will say when my cousins and my sister did call me ripples and would make fun of me. I got made fun of in elementary school for being overweight. Those things were traumatic to me. When I got skinny, I never emotionally healed myself. It was a physical skinny. I was in my prime of like, “I’m skinny now. I can get whatever guy I want. I can go on this crazy adventure,” which I did but I never found myself. I never found who I was.

I was still a lost soul. Being in Chicago for a year, I had my ups and downs. I came back home. I was like, “I’m going to come back home, and I’m going to figure life out again.” When I came back home, it took me a good solid 4.5 years from being home, which for me is in 2020 when I was able to find myself, and dig emotionally deeply on myself as to how I became a holistic nutritionist. It took that 4.5 years of coming home from Chicago and trying to figure out what it is that I want to do with my life because I started out wanting to go as a nutritionist, then changed my career and went into sales for cars. I did that for almost ten years. I found my happiness there. I was like, “I’m making all this money.” In reality, “Was that my happiness?” It wasn’t. I was a lost soul for a long time. Even being skinny, I was not whole with myself. When I did get skinny, everyone was like, “It’s awesome. You’re inspiring.” At that time, I was preaching to inspire people, but I wasn’t being true to my word.

What was it that finally made you realize that you had to get honest with yourself and get whole?

Talk about traumatic things. When I was younger, my dad was never physically abusive, but he was verbally abusive. It was never about my weight or anything like that. He got in a car accident and then was in a coma, came out of it, and became like a changed man. In 2018, he passed away. Six months prior to my dad passing away, he apologized to me for everything that he’s ever done to me and showed me what true love he had for me as his daughter. He apologized for everything that he’s done. Inside, I’ve always wanted that, but I never realized that I wanted that until I got it. I got to build a strong relationship with my dad before he dies. After he died, it was almost like a wake-up call. That’s when I started to dive in, focus on myself, and soul search on who I am as a person. From that point on, after my dad passed away, it was hard. The one thing that was missing inside of me, that I was able to heal. As I was able to heal that I was able to move forward with who I am supposed to be.

You didn’t even realize that piece was missing until given to you like a gift. God gave you a gift of healing and forgiveness from your father, who you thought you loved and had a great relationship with. Everybody has some issue with their parents because humans are messy. That informs how you help your clients as well. A lot of people are in the same boat. They don’t realize that they’re missing something, but because you’ve had that experience, are you able to ask questions, go a little deeper, and get them to think about things that they probably wouldn’t have even tried to address?

What we eat in private, we wear in public. Click To Tweet

One hundred percent. When I go deep with my clients, I do ask things because my journey from when I healed after my dad apologized to me, I healed emotionally, but I did gain the weight back. I’m now down to where I want it to be. It’s because I’ve healed myself emotionally, physically, and mentally. After my dad passed away, I focused on myself and decided, “I’m going to go back to school. I’m going to become a holistic nutritionist.” I wasn’t planning to go back and work with my mom. I was going to school. I put my faith in God. I prayed to God to ask him to lead me where I need to be and show me. It took a while for him to show me. It’s never on our time. It’s on his time.

2020 is when my life completely changed. I graduated from school in 2020. I started with my mom in November 2020. It was 2020 when I first got on this journey of starting my own practice. My uncle, who I don’t talk to, and I don’t have a strong relationship with. He’s my step-uncle, which is my dad’s sister has been. I don’t talk to him on the phone or anything. I was driving, and I get a call out of the blue. I’ll fast forward to the night before, I was emotional. I’m crying. As I stepped forward in my faith with God to lead me where I need to be to get back onto the journey of why I’m here, like, “What is it that I need to be here to do?”

I made these words of, “What you eat in private, you wear in public and don’t just become inspired, become an inspiration.” Those words I came up with many years ago. Ever since I’ve had those words, I’ve got to preach it, but I’d never been able to preach it because I haven’t been able to believe in myself to preach it. I’ve been praying, “God, give me guidance. Show me where I need to be so people can believe what I’m preaching, and I’m not just talking garbage out of my mouth and having them believe me, but it’s not true beliefs for myself.” When I got the call, my uncle said, “Are you sitting down?” I was like, “Is somebody okay?” At that time, my mom was on a honeymoon. I was freaking out like, “Is she okay?” He goes, “Yes.” The night before, I was crying and missing my dad. I wanted him to be here, so I could talk to him because I had a strong relationship with him.

My uncle called me. I got woken up at 3:00 AM, which he’s three hours ahead, and I was crying at 1:00 AM. He goes, “I can’t explain it to you, but there were these voices that woke me up and told me I had to call you. These voices were talking to me. They woke me up and asked me to call you and tell you this.” I said, “I’m listening.” He goes, “The voices told me that you need to rise up and be a better woman than you are now. You’re going to make a difference in this world, and you’re going to change people’s lives.”

I froze at that moment because for almost a year, I’ve been praying to God like, “Give me guidance. Show me where I need to be in the moment, and let me know when I’m doing is right.” I’ve always wanted to be a motivational speaker who changed people’s lives in some way or another, but I’ve never been confident with myself to do it. Having that healing with my dad and being able to move forward, and heal within myself emotionally and getting that call. He’s like, “I asked the voice’s questions.” I was like, “What did you ask him? I want to know.” He goes, “I kept asking him, ‘What else do I need to tell her?’ He said you’re going to change people’s lives. You need to rise up and be the woman that God created you to be.”

That day changed my life forever. I have been taken on a journey that is not only inspiring people, but I’m able to change people’s lives. I am 100% whole with myself, emotionally, physically and mentally. I can look at myself in the mirror and tell myself, “I love you. I think you’re a beautiful person inside and out.” That is what I have been preaching to my clients. It’s not about what you look like on the outside. Us, women, we judge ourselves all the time. We don’t dress up for our boyfriends or husbands. We dress up for other women because we don’t want them to judge us.

 

If somebody has nice eyes or nice lashes, we want it. If someone has fake boobs, I want it. This is what society portrays is to be somebody that you’re not. What I preach is, “You don’t have to be somebody that you’re not to be whole with yourself and love yourself.” What is going to make you love yourself and not worry about all those other things is connecting with yourself and healing inside of whatever’s deep down inside. I always use this analogy that I love is when you’re struggling with emotions, and you’re not sure what it is. You just can’t speak about it, or it can’t come out. The real you is deep down inside, and she’s drowning. She’s trying to get air but you’re not letting her. She’s down there drowning, and she wants to come up for air, but she can’t come up for air until you heal what’s deep down there.

She’s going to continue to drowned until you released what’s down there. Once you release what’s down there inside that stack, she’s going to come up for air. She’s going to be able to breathe. She’s going to feel like she’s not drowning anymore. When you have that moment, you’re going to know that’s you, that you’ve always wanted to be, but you’ve been afraid to be. Therefore, when you are up for air, and you’re able to breathe, that means that that’s the woman that you need to be. That’s what I preach. I love using that analogy because a lot of us drowned. We don’t realize we’re drowning. We go from gaining weight to losing weight, and we don’t fix what’s on the inside of us. We only want to fix what’s the outside because that’s what society shows us in the magazines, movies, all these actresses are portraying something that’s not real. The one thing that’s going to be most attractive within yourself is you being you and you being real.

That is what I have become. That’s what I teach my clients. I’m not only just a nutrition coach. I also do life coaching and health coaching. It’s a whole program that you go in it like, “I don’t want to talk about feelings. I’ve been to a therapist and it’s never worked.” It’s not the therapy. It’s getting in touch with who you’re afraid to be and trying to break down why you’re afraid to be that person because in reality, that person’s been hiding inside you for a long time, that she can’t break out.

Besides your personal journey, can you give me an example of an amazing client that you’ve helped?

I have this amazing client that inspires me, and that’s what I want. I want her to inspire me. I want my clients to inspire me as I inspire them. She came into our office, and she was referred by you. You could see that there was a lost soul. She had said she has not been able to be under 200 pounds in over many years. Those are challenges that I love to take on. She started with my mom. I helped her with nutrition, did menu plans for her, and she lost weight. She stayed committed and kept staying committed. One day our nutritional program was up, and she texted me out of the blue and asked me, “Do you know any holistic therapists that could help me?”

I said, “Funny, I’m a life coach too. I do holistic life coaching and I can help you.” She’s like, “I’m going to think about it.” She thought about it. She figured out a way how to do the program and for the funds-wise and so forth. She started the program with me. She has completely changed. She has lost over 45 pounds. She’s under 200. She looks amazing, and she’s a whole different person. She’s got a whole new face. Her face is bright and shining. You see that smile that when she first came in, there was not. It was like she was lost. Now, you could see that she looks free. She’s peeking out of her shell. She’s being the woman that she’s always been afraid to be.

It’s possible to preach and inspire people, but at the same time, not be true to your word. Click To Tweet

She had many emotional traumas that she would hold onto that she didn’t realize that she held on to. We worked so much on releasing those emotional traumas. I’m like a warden, “I make you do the work. I make you go deep.” Sometimes she gets mad at me but that’s okay. I want you to get mad at me because that means I’m doing good at my job. She came out of it and healing herself in many ways that I was impressed with. She’s inspired me because she hasn’t gained the weight back. She has her moments.

I don’t like to call them to cheat moments. She has her moments because it’s a lifestyle change. You go in 75% commitment, and then the other percent is to enjoy yourself. She still goes and enjoys herself and still has the weight off. She’s doing amazing. She has totally inspired me and changed her life completely by doing the nutrition program and going into the life coaching program of digging deep on the emotional, spiritual part of her wellbeing.

I know exactly who you’re talking about, and that’s one of the people who are like, “Dr. Hoefer, when are you going to do this?” I get texts from her, “How are you doing? Want to go to the store? Let’s go buy the right food.” Whatever it is in my head, I have a block with going to the store, but she’ll go with me, and it’ll be like a fun hangout instead of this task. It’s funny because I’m good at what I do. I love taking care of my patients. I have my niche of Upper Cervical Blair and chiropractic, but then I’ve got my little hang-up of going to the grocery store and buying sweet potatoes.

We like to help other people, but we don’t like to help ourselves.

It’s all about getting to the root of it like what you’ve described. I’m very excited to know your story. I knew a little bit of it, but even this conversation has given me even more details and more background about what makes you thick and why you’re excited to help people. For the readers, I want you to tell us where they can find you because I’m sure that you can do this virtually as well as in person.

I could do it virtually, in-office or whatever’s preferable. You can find me at NaturopathicCenterForWellness.com. I’m under there as the holistic nutrition coach. My website is underway so that’s not ready yet. I also do have an Instagram that you can find me on, which is Holistic Lifestyle Coaching With Kelley, it’s @HLCWithKelley.

Do you have any other words of wisdom that you would like to share?

Yes. Don’t just become inspired, but become an inspiration. If you feel lost, feel in fear, and not sure where your life is going to bring you, I would love to go on a journey with you and help you figure out where you’re supposed to be, and emotionally, physically, mentally help you and get you there.

 

I have been on this journey with Kelley since November 2020. I’m feeling completely motivated. I’m sticking to it. There have been one or two times that I’ve got to you don’t call it to cheat, but you call it a reward.

Never call it a cheat. It’s a reward and enjoying because if you call it a cheat, it’s a diet. We’re not talking diet.

It’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s a whole different way to think about why you’re feeding yourself the food that you’re feeding yourself. What’s interesting is I ate pizza for the first time over the holidays in eight weeks. My tummy hurt bad. I was like, “It’s not even worth it.” It tastes good for the minute that I was chewing the food, but then the aftermath, the cheese, dough, gluten, all the things, I was like, “It’s not worth it.” Until my gut is fully healed, maybe I’ll be able to enjoy a slice of pizza. I know emotionally, I never considered myself necessarily having an eating disorder or being a comfort eater. What I recognize when I’m strict about the protocol in the beginning because I want to make sure that I’m giving my body the proper nutrients is that I would go to something that was easy and satisfying at the moment because it helped me to deal with whatever.

I was like, “There is such psychology to this.” Even though I didn’t identify, it’s almost like somebody who doesn’t want to admit they’re an alcoholic. I don’t think I had a food addiction but saying that, it means I did. It’s interesting to go down this journey. I am fully committed to the program. I refer every person that I know to this clinic, to Dr. Miller, to Kelley. Eventually, we’re going to get Dr. Miller on the show and have her talk about the work that she does because it’s incredible. I’m very thankful for you, Kelley. Thanks for your time. We’re excited to let people know about what you do, where you’re at, and I’m hoping that you’ll have some people reaching out to you and getting some help.

Thank you so much for having me on your show. I enjoyed it. I’m glad to be here.

Thanks, everybody, for reading. I’m excited about having our guest. If you have any questions, comments or concerns, you can always reach out to Get Your Head On Straight. Until next time. Take care.

Important Links:

• Kelley Miller
• NaturopathicCenterForWellness.com

About Kelley Miller

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